Thursday, October 19, 2006


I've moved over to a new blog with a dumb name:


Corner Blitz

  • Deadspin crew take one for their team.

  • "Chuck" Weiss admits feelers were delivered to his door about NFL jobs. He's choosing to ignore them until the money is right or he gets fired - in 2009.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Stewart Mandel and Mike Brown

  • Mike Brown suffered an injury to his foot, a blow Lovie Smith calls severe. It must be true if Lovie said it. Thank goodness they have Rex Grossman.....wait, Grossman's a quarterback. Or is he?
  • Two University of Miami players apologized for being ignorant. Okay not exactly. They read what was written for them and it seemed really sincere to people who are stupid.
  • Stewart Mandel is now defending the U. The fact is that Stew needs to generate responses because his columns are bottom dwellers. He's trying to go Peter King by inserting personal observations about life. He should just stick to his origami collection and let McCartney write the serious stuff.

Charlie Weiss and the Cult of Personality

Charlie Weiss is a hot commodity. If you sold him by the pound he'd command a hefty price. It seems that more than a few NFL owners are enamored of the head coach of the Fighting Irish. The question is why?

He had great success as a coordinator in New England but hiring an OC or DC is hit or miss. He took over at Notre Dame and hasn't done anything above what's expected at South Bend. Recruits flow in but they usually do. He beat Michigan State but what else has he done? Restore pride? Nah. The pride was there. He brought excitement just as Dennis Green did at Arizona, Tommy Bowden at Clemson, and every other big name who coasts his first year because there was a change. (Well-Green didn't coast)

He'll likely have some success at Notre Dame but it won't be enough. Right now he's better off taking what's being offered by a handful of NFL teams. Otherwise his stock will drop after the Irish stumble around next year.

Ranking the Top Ten

College Football Thermal Energy Rankings

  1. Ohio State - They don't have the best player in the country but they do have great marketing people so Smith ends up in New York. They get the nod as number one because no one else is worthy.
  2. West Virginia - Their offense is superb as long as they don't have to pass. They haven't been tested but that's because they play in a conference that's anything but BIG.
  3. Florida - Yeah. They lost to Auburn but even a blind hog will find a root. The Gators will put it together and win the SEC despite being coached by Urban Meyer.
  4. Michigan - I'd like to get excited by Michigan but I can't. They seem vulnerable and soft like Belgium instead of rugged and tough like Monte Carlo.
  5. USC - They will lose two games prior to their appearance in the "Free Housing For Players" bowl.
  6. Tennessee - For now "Pork Chop" Fulmer is in the top 10.
  7. Texas - Over hyped but they play in a weak conference and they are the defending champions. So they get a pass.
  8. Clemson - They beat out Louisville because they Tigers have a great running attack. But if Bowden's form holds true they'll underachieve and end up 15th at the end.
  9. Louisville - Just out of the elite eight but they have a stadium that embarrasses college football-so they have that going for them.
  10. Auburn - Not buying into the win against Florida. Soft defense up the middle, average QB, and not ready for the BCS. Sorry Tommy.

Early Hits

  • Cardinals beat Mets - World yawns.
  • Shaun Rogers suspended for four games for using a banned over the counter substance. It wasn't Slimfast.
  • A-Rod rumors swirl about a move to the Cubs. Cubs ponder future with Lou and A-Rod. Sane people dismiss the notion of any potential success and go back to drinking beer.
  • Another night and still no further brawls at the U. Nobel Prize winner explains the reason nothing occurred is because the U didn't play.
  • Bob Stoops states that Oklahoma can play without Adrian Peterson. Yeah but they can't win big games without him. Bring on the Citadel.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Lou to the Cubs and Mariotti to Kabul

Lou Piniella promised Cubs fans victories after being announced as the new manager. Lou, known as Sweet Lou because of his calm demeanor, stated that he was asked to come in and win. What else did he expect? Lou, ever the verbalist, noted that guys like to play for him. Hit it Lou,

“I’m basically a lot of fun to play for. I may get demanding, though, and that
should be part of the equation. I want players to have fun, I want them to
relax, I want them to play well, I want them to do well so they can earn more
money for their families, and at the same time it translates into more wins for
the team.”

If fun translated to wins the Cubs would have a dozen banners hanging around Wrigley. No one has more fun than the Cubs especially in July when the pennant race is over. Lou signed a three year deal which is just enough time for him to kick Jay Mariotti's ass inside the clubhouse. Ozzie and Lou in the same city? Hey Jay, the Kabul Journal is looking for a sports columnist. And you can take your dad!

Buc's Send Booger to Colts

The Colts needed a big body up front to stop the run. Oprah's busy so they traded a second round pick to Tampa Bay for Anthony McFarland. They hope that McFarland will team with Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis to provide a potent defensive line until the ubiquitous AFC Championship Game meltdown.

Football, Miami, and Beirut

Miami is reeling from the outpouring of critical press coverage towards their student-athletes. While it's hard to believe that any of their athletes graduate, and those that do are from the women's swim team, the heat is starting to get to University President Donna Shanay-nay. She's threatening to take off her pumps and pour a can of whoop-ass on the next pundit that calls into question the legitimacy of her actions to control the Boyz in the Hood. Actually she isn't threatening anything and it wouldn't do much good anyway. Few of the players could understand a warning unless gunfire accompanied it.

The U is a bad football team representing a below average university whose sole academic achievement is allowing researchers to study Edge's teeth to determine their weight in gold. In short this incident caught no one by surprise.

Dennis Green, French General!

Dennis Green must be descended from the great men who constructed the Maginot Line. When the Huns spilled across the French border (again) they simply bypassed the impressive redoubt because the designers, much like Green, were clueless. Thus the German Army occupied France and to this day the French Military is to combat as a decent education at the University of Miami is to higher learning. Wait-back to Green.

Denny Green has a great personality, winning smile, and the coaching ability of one of Charlie Weiss' chins. Reasonable people would conclude after last night's debacle in the desert he'll need some compromising photographs of Mr. Bidwell with Leonard Davis to save his job. Actually that might not do the trick. The time has come to jettison Green in favor of Vince Tobin or someone else who can carry on a press conference with some level of decorum. Where's Jim Mora?